i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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