6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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