Cold hands, warm shart.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize