I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize