Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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