I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize