Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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