You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
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He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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