Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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