please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
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Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize