I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
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You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
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I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You were trust falling into bushes
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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