There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize