So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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