the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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