All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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