dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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