did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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