his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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