I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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