You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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