3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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