I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize