I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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