I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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