Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize