I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
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I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
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It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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