Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
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our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
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The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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