never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize