Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
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I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
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Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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