Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
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Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
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seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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