i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize