I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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