Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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