What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize