...so i touched it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize