I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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