I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize