Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize