I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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