i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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