if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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