I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
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And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize