you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
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I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
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come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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