I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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