I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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