Do you still have your period?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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