FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize