normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
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U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
where are my pants?
in the oven.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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