I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
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I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
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Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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