okay pat passed out under dana's car
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize