Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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